Guest post by Tanya from Braindeadmusicalive!
(Read the Part 1 here)
Coming from an unwed-brain, these are some of my quick and personal views that wouldn’t help you sustain a marriage longer than you already can, but might just help you add a bit of spice to the idea of making your companionship a better, funnier and easier tradition to live by…
- You will never see things through your partner’s eyes because you are two entirely different people. You are genetically, physiologically, and psychologically different. So take pride in being different yet of incredible importance to your partner. You might just stumble upon the new genre of music that’s on his favorite playlist and get appreciated for your home keeping skills. If we were all doing the same things all our lives, I wonder why would we ever need to marry anyone, We could all marry ourselves and keep drowning in the same ocean of age-old habits only to die happily ever after.
- Remember that, You’ve married another species of your own form. Not a super-hero or natural problem solver. The tug of war between men and women shall live longer than we do. However, the silly assumptions of always being taken care of, of getting immediate answers that brilliantly solves all your issues at once, the super instincts of miraculously reading your mind don’t really work.
- Talk! Talk, share a few glances in silence, discuss, confess, forgive and most importantly do all of this only when you know the other person has what it takes to accept you for what you are. He has the nerve to let you into his world of secrets, problems and also the uglier lesser known truths. The best of couples do not sustain a problem-less relationship, they just happen to accept the fact that there’s going to be a lot more than the sweetness of love, there’s going to flaws and downfalls, but now, there are two of us to sail through the everyday storm.
- Break the myth – “A great relationship is a peaceful one”! If only, it were so, we would all be living in heaven on earth. The peace that you’re looking for in your marriage is the one that belongs to you already, if only you believe in the art of re-inventing your kind of love, your sense of self-worth and your willingness to strengthen the weak points, with every passing day of conflict.
- Indulge yourself in the mystery of this seemingly unsolvable yet fascinating idea of living through the thick and thin together. Hour by hour, day after another, and years later, you’d still be wondering to yourself if was it all really worth it. I’d say think of it today, see if you feel the zest within to make it work for years to come. If you don’t, save yourself all the precious years of self-sacrifice and the forthcoming regret, get your wings off anything or anyone that’s binding you against your will. But in case you do, than forget everything you just read, add some humor to your struggle of blending in and see destiny unfold itself beautifully, carving a smile on your face at the end of the day, hearing your spouse say, “My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.”
Ah! That’s how you live a knot-story. You fight . You get insecure, crazy, protective, jealous, mean, sad, murderous and also The Man and The Lady, every once in a while.
Quoting Galway Kinnell – “You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person, someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, “This is the problem I want to have. Let our scars fall in love.”
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