Our parents will always tolerate all the tantrums we threw, but once we are married we need to understand that in laws are not our parents, attitude and behavior effects in laws too. It’s not like getting in their good books by impressing them, but respect and accept them in our life as our own parents.
For getting things better let’s remember a few points:
Hope you read the previous post on mother in law (here) and now it’s Daughter in laws turn to have reality bites .
- If your mom makes mistake don’t you forgive and forget about it; Or do you carry the grudge in your mind? Apply it on your mother in law too..
- You should not take advantage of your mother in law if she is taking care of all the household chores. Do help her as as much as possible.
- Mother in law is elder and wiser to you, she has a lot of experience in life, maybe it annoys us but she just want to teach us how to live a better life.
- If you can call you parents daily then you should try to communicate with your in laws once or twice in a week. (oh c’mon at least for ones in a month and on special occasions)
- If your husband has got a good character, love and respects you it’s because of the way your mother in law brought him up. The good manners she taught him. Respect her for that.
- You might think that your friends and your sister have got a perfect mother in law. You don’t know what they are going through. Maybe they are compromising and complimenting each other and also forgiving each others mistakes. (Grass is always greener on the other side)
- Be open and let her know about things which is not right without hurting her. Being outspoken in the first place can avoid a lot of problems later.
- If at all you are upset about your mother in law’s attitude, have an open discussion with your husband and mother in law together, rather than complaining about it to your husband privately. ( now don’t make it a habit )
- Stay away from all those manipulators who try to create problem with you and your mother in law and don’t get carried away by such people.
- It takes time to accept someone new in the family, that too as a daughter, so show a little patience.
- • Try to understand what annoys her. Eg-If she is a cleanliness freak you can at least try not to create a mess at home if at all you can’t help her in cleaning.
- There will be something that you both like to do together like gardening, shopping, cooking it can be anything, try to do it together, that will be the best bonding time.
You can make a family perfect. Ignore all those negativity in mind; make your in laws proud. It needn’t be like nodding for each and everything they says. Be yourself, let them accept the way you are, but mainly forgive and forget all those small mistakes. It’s really easy to fight and complain, but what we need is a smart mentality to ignore it. After all who wouldn’t want to have a perfect family?